.. I think I’m moving, but I go nowhere
There are two kinds of staring. There’s that sunny afternoon sidewalk staring, where you sit at a bench looking at all kind of people living their lives. I love that type of staring, it’s like looking at a movie. I like wondering about their thoughts, their lives, their dreams and hopes while they move without noticing me.
But there’s also a less attractive kind of staring. And as much as I’d like not to admit it, I’m stuck in a circle of staring, trying to move and realizing I’ve missed the boat. You get older, decisions have to be made, people change, their live changes and suddenly you find yourself out of their interest. They found new challenges, new goals while you’re still stuck on those you’ve set years ago.
I’ve made a stupid decision, and as much as I try to make the best of it – and how often I think it’s finally working – after a time of positive vibrations there’s always that time where I’m filled with regret and self-pity. I see them moving, moving away from me, moving to goals I can’t reach right now.
I must leave those goals behind which I set before knowing what I do know now, and open myself for new ones which can be achieved in the situation I’m in nowadays.
I’m gonna leave my rags ‘n’ run..
There has to be a positive note to all of this, and fortunately there is. Decisions can change your life, and as easy it seems to jump into the dark and live wild and free, I’ve learned I have to overthink them 10 times before making them.